Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
