New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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