That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
