that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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