are you still at the devil's house?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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