its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
