Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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