He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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