i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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