stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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