My brain says no but my pants say off.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
