addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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