I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
