it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
