oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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