This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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