I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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