if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
