I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
