how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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