Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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