I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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