nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Actions speak louder than pants.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
