I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
