Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
