You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
