Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
