Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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