Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
