Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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