I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
