I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
did i walk over a car last night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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