I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
