Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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