Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
