It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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