he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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