is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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