try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
pray to the hookup gods
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
