so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
