friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
