Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
