Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
