I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
