this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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