You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
