awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
