Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
