My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
