I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
